Don’t know what to call this, but I haven’t slept. Sleep deprivation and emotional unfulfillment led to this.
My prayer was answered, to my dismay,
You came home in disarray.
Dismissed my feelings, you simply slept,
Hibernated as I wept.
It will get better, I tell myself,
That’s a lie I couldn’t sell.
Not a word uttered, as I waited,
You made me feel so hated.
All I’ve ever done, good intentions.
My mind is in suspension.
You know my sickness, why I can’t be,
What you needed me to be.
Staring in the dark, I saw your smile.
The day we walked down the aisle.
I was once happy, death do we part,
But demons ripped us apart.
I wish I had known, when the beast stirred,
I’d never let you be cursed.
You’d be happier, had we not crossed,
But I’d be forever lost.
Now as you lie there, oblivious,
I find myself curious.
You gave me a life, I should be dead.
Have I calmed your dread?
Words just don’t suit you, how could I know?
Have I showed you where to go?
Has your life improved, in spite of mine?
Did I help you learn to shine?
You still have my heart, so keep it safe.
I’ll never have it replaced.
Wherever you go, I’ll be right there,
If you need me to still care.