Shame

This was written after one of my nightmares got the best of me while I was alone one night. I woke up crouched in the corner, reaching for a rifle that wasn’t there.

____________________

Take cover, no one’s safe within these walls.

It’s hard to tell wherein lie my faults.

The paint is peeling as the sirens wail.

In my eyes the evil has prevailed.

All I see is enemies,

Tearing out a part of me,

Watching as my sanity gets derailed.


The sand is swirling as the clouds converge.

I still don’t know what has me so disturbed.

Screaming in the corner, I try to hide,

But the voices I hear force me to abide.

Clawing at my eyes in rage,

Knowing that I can’t be saved,

Frigid fingers reaching from the inside.


I didn’t choose to be this way,

But remember, you choose to stay.

I hid these secrets to keep you safe,

Though every night I lie awake,

Afraid to face these haunting dreams.

But you were there to save me…

…from myself.


I hear children screaming in this quiet room.

The scent of sulfur fills my maddening tomb.

I taste the phosphor burning in my throat.

The evil waiting for it’s chance to gloat.

Furiously exchanging blows,

Against a foe that no-one knows,

It grips my neck like a killer’s garrote.


I hear a voice from outside of the dark.

The sound makes the assailant disembark.

A shadow stands before me drenched in blood,

But the voice has slowed the deadly flood.

I see my hands are stained with red,

I scream out loud but nothing’s said,

I fall face first and quiver in the mud.


I didn’t choose to be this way,

But remember, you choose to stay.

I hid these secrets to keep you safe,

Though every night I lie awake,

Afraid to face these haunting dreams.

But you were there to save me…

…from myself.


I will explode but I don’t have a fuse.

I might go off on just the count of two.

I hide behind a wall of broken glass,

Just enough to shield you from the blast.

You stand your ground so patiently,

Waiting for my pain to cease,

Unwilling to accept my darkened past.


I stand and see my whole world thrust in Hell,

All because of a story I couldn’t tell.

Now the truth is known to all but one,

Yet I still find I’m waiting for the sun.

I bared it all to set you free,

Yet you still stayed to bleed with me,

For better or for worse, we’ve just begun.

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