Regret

They just keep coming today. My chest hurts from something; anxiety or heartbreak, probably.

____________________

This is a new pain tearing at my chest,

I never thought it would hit me at my best.

My one true soulmate is losing her soul,

And I regret waiting to let her know,

How much I love her and need her caress.


I watch as she withers into the walls,

Becoming a complement to my faults.

I’ve abandoned my old destructive self,

But I’m still working up the nerve to tell,

That she’ll always be the one I exalt.


It’s not like me to want to hold her back,

But letting her go is a heart attack.

Regardless, I’ll still shoulder the burden,

I’ll let the pain just blister and worsen,

As long as she’s happy I’ll wear the mask.


I can’t forgive myself for causing pain,

To the person who accepted my shame.

I waited until it was far too late,

To take the steps to alleviate,

The decisions that led me to disdain.


I cannot sleep without trembling awake,

Because I know she’s not here to embrace.

I cannot wake without crippling fear,

The realization that she’s not here,

And I pray I could have more yesterdays.

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